through life we endure such things as close friends
moving or drifting away, or loss of pets, job or
retirement and so on. So it is important to recognize
loss and the resultant feelings, which for some
people can be very intense. Most perceive the
grieving state to involve the death of a love one or
needs the courage to experience it not just to talk
about it and not continually repeating yourself
otherwise you drive your friends away.
has a push-pull effect the big empty gut
feeling when you try to talk to friends, but
the big wound is vulnerable to being hurt again
you tend to push them away when they are
getting close to you. They get a mixed message.
MANY THINGS THAT SEEM TO HAPPEN WITH VARYING DEGREES
of intensity. The effects may or may not happen
in my case lots of things didnt happen
and our ability to recover largely depends on a good
attitude and the quality of thinking in the now.
poorly emotionally drained and tired a
big ball of pain.
erratically tightness in throat can prevent or
make swallowing difficult. Some lose weight and
others may find food a reward and put weight on. It
can happen that there is no appetite at first then
the opposite after the initial period. Sighing is
mood changes and feeling emotionally out of control
with crying is very common.
has been described as being in a daze and loss of
reality, despite functioning at work and doing
various chores with difficulty. One can fantasize
about seeing or hearing former partner even
feeling as though your heart has been removed.
overwhelming thought am I going crazy has
been described. If this is happening be comforted by
the fact that no permanent psychological damage will
it inside is more damaging and does make it worse and
more likely to lead to a deep-seated grief pattern.
Certainly acknowledge it and those who do, handle
yourself to feel the pain without denial just
experiencing a normal grief pattern.
COULD BE OTHER ACCOMPANYING SYMPTOMS
isolation, helplessness, depressed feelings, guilt
feelings, with continual self-criticism and the need
to relive the past can persist. Anger at the apparent
unfairness and various degrees of rage at lost
partner. All feelings can be overwhelming. In my case
I heard myself saying both inwardly and outwardly
It is almost unbearable but we live
through these times. As expected suicidal thoughts
are common and about ¾ of those surveyed stated this.
CAN BE DONE?
action such as crying, shouting and expressing grief
sensibly and realistically.
a decision to manage your grief at the appropriate
time and place. Put it aside literally on the shelf
at work If not managed it puts so much stress on the
body and psychosomatic illness may manifest. Many
people put it aside not wanting to experience pain,
but this is counter-productive.
will know when it has been completed. There will be a
feeling of letting go and you wont be pulled
stages are documented you may find that these occur
in different order or multiple varying ones appearing
each day as was my experience.
stages are DENIAL, ANGER, BARGAINING, LETTING GO AND
ACCEPTANCE. I WONDER WITH KNOWLEDGE AND
UNDERSTANDINGIF YOU CAN SHORT-CIRCUIT THE PROCESS AND
MAKE THE STAGES VERY MINIMAL.
OR SYMPATHY WHEN FACING OTHERS IN THE GRIEVING STATE.
is a feeling that can keep people in a hopeless,
negative state of mind. It occurs when we share in a
friends misery, which reinforces their thinking
and keeps them down. Sympathy or feeling sorry for a
persons plight also tends to lower the mood and
is not productive.
want to cultivate the feeling of compassion. It is a
warm, higher-order feeling of understanding,
understanding a person is caught up in an insecure
state of mind.
and understanding the feelings this state of mind
generates is heart-warming and hopeful rather than
sad, inspiring rather than discouraging.
YOUR FEELINGS TELL YOU WHEN YOU NEED TO ADJUST.